Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
