That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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