speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
