five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
