I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
