as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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