stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
