Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4

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(207): View more from Maine

Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.

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(480): View more from Arizona

the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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(315): View more from New York

thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.

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(260): View more from Indiana

did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?

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(804): View more from Virginia

My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.

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