Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
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