I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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