i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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