i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
