That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
