They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
