Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This toilet bowl is my home.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
