Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
