he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
vagina is talking i cant
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
