Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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