What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
