That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
