I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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