I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
