I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
