i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
