she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
