did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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