weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
