Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize