i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
