her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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