Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
