So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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