I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
