My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
