hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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