So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just blew my weed a kiss
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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