at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
