U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
