i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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