haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
