So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
