if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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