someone get that fucking seahorse.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
