I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
