Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
