I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
