It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
