last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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