but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
