i jhust puked up my retainher.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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