the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
